Nothing Says Fuck You Like a Bouquet of Flowers
by mdelpin
Summary: Gray is forced to buy a present for Natsu. With few jewels in his pocket and even less desire to go through with it, he happens upon a flower shop where he learns a rather interesting fact. You can say just about anything with flowers...


Nothing Says Fuck You… Like a Bouquet of Flowers

Gray was so tired of Erza's stupid plans to try to get him and Natsu to get along. Why couldn't she get it through her damn skull that they were as friendly with each other as they were ever going to get and just leave it at that?

He couldn't even remember the last time they'd actively tried to kill the other. It must have been at least a year by now? If that wasn't proof that their relationship had improved, Gray didn't know what would convince her.

But no, she had demanded he buy Natsu something "nice" to make up for knocking him into next week while he'd been distracted talking to Lucy earlier. The way Gray saw it, it was Natsu's own fault for not being alert. All he'd done was remind the fire mage that he could be attacked at any moment. He'd done him a favor, really.

Gray grumbled, putting his hand in his pocket to pull out his money pouch, snorting as he realized it had been a gift from Natsu from the last time he'd been on the receiving end of Erza's machinations. Although for the life of him, Gray couldn't remember what the dumbass had done to earn the punishment. It was actually a pretty nice pouch made out of some sort of soft fabric he didn't know the name of.

He opened it and poured his scant jewels into his hand, it looked like he had about 300 jewels on him. What could he possibly buy for that little? Maybe he could buy him some food, Natsu would be sure to appreciate that, but he had a feeling Erza would find fault with it.

Gray walked around town, peering into different shop windows, hoping to find something quickly, but nothing seemed right. He was staring into space when he heard someone speak to him.

"Can I help you find something, dearie?"

"Huh?" Gray blinked, trying to figure out where the voice had come from.

"I couldn't help but notice you've been looking into all the shops. Are you looking for something?"

The voice belonged to an old woman who was standing in front of a flower shop. The one place he'd avoided in his search.

"Oh, yeah. I have to buy a gift for... a friend," Gray explained, not sure what to call his rival. He guessed most of the time they were friends.

"I see, have you considered flowers? Most everyone likes getting flowers," the old woman smiled as she showed him the shop behind her. "You can say just about anything with flowers."

"Can you say I think you're a stupid, good for nothing two-faced jerk who has disappointed me more times than I can count, and most of the time, I'm pretty sure I hate you?"

"My, that's very colorful!" the woman laughed, not seemingly put off at all by the harsh words. "Are you sure this is for a friend?"

"Yeah, he's just infuriating most of the time," Gray muttered, remembering how he'd started to feel every time Natsu hung out with Lucy instead of him. It was just like it used to be before Lisanna had "died" and it bugged him. If he were actually honest with himself, that had probably had more to do with his attack than anything else, not that he would ever admit it out loud.

"Anyway, I should probably get back to it before the stores start closing."

"Hang on, I never said I couldn't help you. You can absolutely say all that with flowers," the woman asserted, looking amused at the doubt on his face.

"Here, I'll show you," she grabbed him by the arm and brought him inside her shop.

"Let's see," she peered around the bright room until she found the flowers she was looking for, grabbing one and showing it to Gray, "This one here is a geranium, it symbolizes stupidity."

Gray chortled as he saw the flower came in a shade of pink very close to Natsu's hair color.

_Figures_.

Gray knew squat about flowers except that some of them smelled awful, so he was intrigued by the idea that different flowers could mean different things. It sort of amused him to be able to give Natsu an "apology" gift that was quite literally a fuck you. Could it possibly get any better? Even Erza couldn't say anything to that since he was quite sure the requip mage knew as much about flowers as he did.

He watched with fascination as the woman continued to pull out different flowers, showing them to him and explaining their meaning.

Foxglove for insincerity

Meadowsweet for uselessness

Yellow carnations for disappointment

Orange lilies for hatred

There quite literally was a flower for every sentiment he had jokingly expressed. And the absolute best thing about it all was that it was quite colorful. Hell, the way some of the colors of the flowers blended together made them almost look like bursts of flames. Natsu would absolutely go gaga over them. Gray could not contain his excitement, this might be the absolute best prank he had ever pulled off, and no one would be the wiser.

He felt quite proud of himself for having stumbled onto this opportunity.

"Alright, so say I wanted to have a bouquet made out of these flowers, how much would it set me back?"

"Well," the old woman hesitated, clearly wanting to make a sale but not wanting to scare him off, "How much do you have?"

"All I've got is like 300 jewels," Gray replied honestly, it wasn't a huge sum so he wouldn't mind using it all up, not considering the payback.

"For 300 jewels, I'll have it delivered!" the old woman chirped. She gestured Gray towards a display of small cards. "Pick one out and write a message for your friend. Make sure to put his name and where you want it delivered on the envelope, and I'll make sure my delivery boy gets it there today."

Gray nodded his acceptance and began to look through the cards as the woman selected flowers. "Oh, and can you make sure you add in some of those pink geraniums, he'll love those." Gray giggled to himself as he finally selected a card.

He tapped the tip of the fountain pen gently on the table and tried to think of the perfect message, eyes lighting up when he finally came up with what he wanted.

Gray hastily scrawled it on the card, waiting for the ink to dry before putting it in the envelope and addressing it to Natsu Dragneel at the Fairy Tail Guild.

Handing the envelope over to the old woman, he once again removed his pouch, and while ignoring the twinge of guilt that attempted to distract him from his goal, he emptied its contents on the work table.

The woman smiled at him in acceptance, "Don't you worry, my grandson will have these over to him as soon as I am done!"

Gray nodded, and before leaving the store, he thanked her gracefully, "This was a lot more fun than I thought it would be."

She laughed and waved as he left.

0-0

Gray wandered around town for a bit longer knowing he would go stir crazy at the guild waiting for the flowers to be delivered, plus there was the off chance that he'd get into another fight with Natsu that would make him leave the guild and miss the delivery of his present.

Once he thought enough time had passed, he made his way back to the guild, his entire body thrumming with anticipation. As he entered, he was immediately approached by Erza.

"Did you do as we discussed?"

"Yes, Erza, it should be here any minute," Gray assured her.

"What did you get him?" she asked, eyebrow already raised in suspicion.

"Don't worry, he'll absolutely love it."

"He'd better," Erza threatened before moving to their team's table and sitting down with Lucy, the two of them immediately immersing themselves in conversation.

"Hey, Ice Bastard, let's go! You and me, right now!" Natsu's flaming fist was in front of his face before he could protest.

"Boys!" Erza yelled from her table, "Isn't one fight a day enough?"

"What do you mean?" Natsu complained, "That wasn't a fight, he sucker-punched me, at least _I'm_ calling him out."

"I don't care, I've had just about enough out of the two of you for one day," Erza growled, "Gray, why don't you go ahead and give Natsu his present so that we can all move on?"

"Oh, uhm, I don't have it on me. It's being delivered," Gray explained quickly, wanting to defuse Erza before she had a chance to get going on one of her rants."

"Delivered?" Natsu puzzled, "What kind of present gets delivered? Oh! Is it food? Cause I'm starving."

"I thought about it, but I figured Erza wouldn't accept that."

"Oh!" Natsu laughed knowingly, "It's one of _those_ presents."

"Alright, well, when is this present coming?" he asked, and there was no disguising the excitement in his eyes. Natsu was still a little kid when it came to anything present related.

Gray looked out the window and noticed a young boy walking around, holding some flowers and a note that he peered at before studying at all the buildings fixedly and finally walking their way.

"Looks like it's just about to get here," Gray declared, a smile already gracing his lips at the prospect.

Not one minute later, the door to the guild opened, and the boy entered. "I'm looking for a Mr. Natsu Dragneel, is he here?"

"I'm Natsu Dragneel, "Natsu walked over to him, and the boy handed him the bouquet of flowers which had been covered in colorful paper as well as plastic to keep them safe while they traveled.

Natsu's nose must have been going into overdrive, for he stood there for a full minute sniffing all the different flowers and peering at their colors excitedly, just as Gray had known he would.

"Can I get your signature to show my grandma I delivered them?" the young boy asked, and Natsu quickly obliged, borrowing a pen from Mira to do so. "Thank you!"

"Wait!" Natsu called out before the little boy could leave. "Lucy, can I borrow some jewels?"

Lucy made a show of complaining, but she placed some jewels in Natsu's hand nonetheless, and he quickly handed them to the little boy.

The little boy's eyes lit up at the money, "Thank you!" he called out, bowing to both Natsu and Lucy before running off.

"You got him flowers?" Erza gushed at Gray, admiring the bouquet Natsu was holding. "I didn't actually expect you to do something nice."

"Those are really pretty, Gray, " Lucy added, "the orange and yellow ones especially, they look just like fire. That was really thoughtful of you."

Gray nodded absently, fascinated by the expression on Natsu's face, even managing to even ignore Juvia's wails in the background as she realized her beloved had bought flowers, and they hadn't even been for her.

"Oh, there's a note!" Natsu exclaimed, grabbing the small envelope and setting his flowers gently on the nearest table so he could open it and read his message.

Natsu's entire body, all the way to his ears, had become covered in a light coating of fire, which confused Gray greatly, not knowing quite what to make of his reaction.

He thought of the message he'd printed on the notecard.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Neither of those flowers is in this bouquet_

_But it still shows how I feel about you…._

He'd felt really clever when he came up with it, and he still did, so why was Natsu acting so strangely and why was it beginning to affect him.

"I- I wasn't expecting this," Natsu finally said something, but it wasn't really much help.

"I'm glad you like it?" Gray replied unsurely, still not positive what was going on or why now it seemed like everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch the two of them intently.

Juvia's wails were only becoming louder, while Cana kept telling anyone who would listen that she'd known it all along, her cards had foreseen it.

_Oh, God!_

It was then that Gray realized he had not thought this through well enough. It seemed like Natsu, not to mention everyone else in the guild, thought the flowers were some sort of love confession.

_Shit, Shit, Shit! He is going to beat the crap out of me for this. This isn't funny at all!_

"I'd told Lucy I was giving up this morning right before you punched me, but now to receive this from you, I- I don't know what to say."

_Excuse me? What?!_

Gray had been about to open his mouth to explain when those words washed all over him. Natsu liked him?! When the hell did that happen, and how come he didn't know?! What should he do?

He heard a whisper in his ear, "I don't know what your actual play was here, but I do know If you screw this up, I will make you regret it for the rest of your life."

He jumped to see Erza give him a threatening look.

"Uhm, it's no big deal," Gray laughed nervously, tugging at his hair in the hopes it would circulate some blood into his brain that might help him get out of this unscathed.

"I don't know about that Gray, I don't think you even sent _me_ flowers when we thought Lisana had died," Mira smiled sweetly.

"You never bought _me _any flowers," Juvia whined, absolutely positively not helping his case at all.

He could hear muffled snickering from the corner as both Freed and Bickslow attempted to hide their amusement at his discomfort. Before he had any time to do anything other than sending a glare their way, he was confronted by an even bigger problem.

"Oh, hey, Gray, what do the different flowers mean?" Lucy asked as she examined Natsu's flowers more closely.

"Yes, Gray," Erza's arms were crossed in front of her chest, and he could tell from her smirk that she had already figured out what he'd done, "Please enlighten us, we'd like to know too."

Gray's eyes darted from one guild member to the next, all of them staring at him with varying expressions, but the one look he didn't find on any of them was sympathy for his plight.

_Unbreakable bonds, my ass!_

"Meanings? I'm not quite sure what you mean," Gray coughed, trying to buy himself some time, "I just, uhm, you know, thought they were pretty."

"Is that so?" Erza raised her eyebrow at him again as she showed him the card he'd hastily written out earlier, "That's funny, your message seems to indicate you do."

Natsu's gaze was locked on him, and Gray was having a hard time thinking straight. His green eyes were opened wide, and he looked so earnest and damn it vulnerable, and Gray instinctively knew Erza had been right. He couldn't fuck around with this.

"Uhm the pinks ones are called geraniums, " Gray calmly began to dig his own grave, what else could he do? Now that Lucy had opened her big mouth, he had no choice but to come up with meanings that didn't sound terrible, and the others would accept. "I picked them cause they reminded me of your hair."

That part was at least true. "They're soft like your hair, too," Gray blurted out, remembering a job not that long ago when Erza had knocked Natsu out on the train, and he'd ended up on his lap. Gray had spent most of the ride absently running his fingers through Natsu's hair, feeling utterly relaxed as he watched the scenery rush by.

"Yes, but what does it mean?" Lucy asked again, earning herself her very own glare.

Okay, what could he change stupid to? Fun? Yeah, fun was good, and it was true that Natsu could be stupidly fun at times.

"Fun? Yeah, fun." Gray tried to sound self-assured, but the way Natsu was furrowing his forehead made him think he wasn't too convincing.

What were the others? Insincerity, uselessness, disappointment, and hatred his brain supplied helpfully.

This was never going to work, he wasn't good under pressure. Not with words, anyway. Fuuuuuuuuck! Why did he have to be such an asshole?

His choices were limited. He could come clean now and earn both Erza and Natsu's wrath, not to mention the entire guild's for Natsu's embarrassment, or he could try to make a run for it before he managed to put his foot in his mouth.

Gray was about to bolt when Cana came for him out of nowhere. "Just a minute, guys, I need him for something," she called out before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him upstairs to the infirmary.

"What are you doing?!" she hissed at him, "You're gonna blow your chance."

"Huh?" he blinked at her, having no clue what she meant.

Cana facepalmed, muttering something about boys being stupid.

"Gray," she began, using the same tone Gray had heard Erza use on Natsu when she was attempting to teach him something she thought a toddler should understand. "Why do you pick fights with Natsu all the time?"

"Cause he thinks he's better than me," Gray immediately responded with a scowl.

"Really? Did he think he was better than you when you punched him this morning?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Gray, have you seriously not noticed that you mostly pick on him when he's talking to Lucy?"

"What, no?!" he protested even though he had to admit there might be something to that, but he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it.

"He's just with her all the time, " he declared, frowning at Cana.

"Uhuh, and that bothers you. Does it bother you when Natsu spends time with Erza or Happy?" Cana grinned knowingly.

"Don't be stupid," he sputtered, "Erza is Erza, we've known her forever, and Happy is a cat."

"So just Lucy, then?"

"Maybe Lisanna, too," he admitted grudgingly.

Cana slapped her leg in mirth, "I knew it! You are such a dope."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're in love with Natsu, you dumbass!"

"No, I'm not," Gray disputed hotly, getting progressively more irritated by the gleeful expression on Cana's face.

"Oh, yes, you are," Loke laughed, appearing out of nowhere.

"Am not, why are you even here?"

"I was bored and popped in to whatever is going on downstairs," Loke shrugged, "By the way, Levy is looking for some sort of flower encyclopedia in the guild library. I have a feeling that information is relevant, seeing as Natsu is holding the nastiest symbolic bouquet I've ever laid eyes on. Your work?"

"How do you even know about that stuff?"

"I'm a celestial spirit, I know all about symbolism, kinda my thing. Plus, I've bought many a lady flowers?."

_No!_ Damn Levy and her stupid need to know everything! He was starting to get even more agitated.

"Just tell him you love him and get him out of the guild before she finds it," Cana advised, "I can send Gajeel to distract her."

"I already told you I -"

"That you're in incredible denial?" Loke grinned, "No need to tell us, we know. We've watched you ogle him for years."

"I do _not_ ogle him," Gray insisted, although, okay maybe he did look at Natsu more than was strictly necessary.

"Sure you don't," both Cana and Loke teased. "Have you seen how you get when anyone but you messes with him?"

Before he could protest that accusation, Loke grabbed him, putting his arm around his shoulder and squeezing it in solidarity, "Dude, just go down there and tell him how you feel. You already know he likes you. It's not like you have anything to lose." Loke advised.

"If you don't, or Levy gets back before you have a chance to talk to him, he'll be humiliated, and he'll never forgive you. Any chance you might have had will be gone."

"You know how proud and stubborn Natsu can be," Cana reminded him, "Good luck getting through that if you fuck this up."

"Ugh, I'm so confused, how do I know whether I'm in love with him or not?"

Loke smacked him on the back of the head with a sigh. "Okay, close your eyes."

"Why do I have to close my-"

"Close your fucking eyes!"

"Fine, you don't have to be such a jerk about it." Gray closed his eyes and emptied his head as much as he could, although the tension didn't entirely leave him.

"I want you to imagine kissing Juvia," Loke demanded.

Gray tried to do as Loke asked, but he just couldn't manage it, the most he was able to muster was a peck on the cheek.

"You done?" Loke asked, and when Gray nodded, he added, "Don't open them yet, now do the same but with Natsu."

Gray nodded, and this time there were tongues and teeth, moans and grunts and hair pulls, and he could feel the blood rush to his face.

"I rest my case," Loke patted him on the back.

"Holy shit! I'm in love with Natsu," Gray yelled only to hear Cana and Loke burst into laughs.

"Welcome to the party!" Cana cheered, "Better late than never. Now go down there before Levy can ruin it!"

Gray opened the door of the infirmary and ran down the stairs. He could hear Levy coming from the downstairs library, muttering that she had thought the geranium thing had sounded fishy.

Without a second thought, Gray froze up that entire entrance so that Levy couldn't get back to the main room just yet. He could hear Gajeel complaining, but he seemed more interested in seeing things play out, especially as Levy didn't really need his help to deal with the ice.

"I'm back," Gray announced unnecessarily, hearing Loke and Cana coming down the stairs behind him.

"What is going on?" Natsu's eyes had gone from earnest to suspicious, and Gray cringed, knowing he had very little time left. "Why did you ice that entrance?"

"Look, just forget about the flower meanings, all that stuff is stupid anyway. The important thing is that I like you too." He grabbed Natsu by the arm and tried to steer him out of the guild, but Natsu refused to budge, shaking Gray off.

"You buy me flowers, write me that message, and then you start acting strangely the moment someone asks you about the meanings," Natsu accused, and Gray could feel the room heating up around him, mirroring Natsu's emotions. "You were messing with me, weren't you? It's gotta be some sort of insult."

Now that the initial surprise at the gift had worn away, Natsu studied him carefully, taking in everything about him. Unfortunately, for Gray, he had always been able to read him better than anyone else.

"I am such an idiot, of course, it is!" Natsu yelled, "To think that I-, nevermind."

"Wait! You're right. I was pissed at Erza for making me get you something, so I was an ass," Gray admitted, "Honestly, had you been with me, you probably would have gotten a kick out of it."

He chuckled weakly but stopped when he noticed Natsu wasn't joining in, he only looked more upset with every word that came out of Gray's mouth. Alright, time to put his cards on the table.

"I'm sorry, I will get you a different present if you want, but I swear to you, I _do_ like you," Gray pleaded, "I just didn't think you felt the same."

"Wait a minute, now you're trying to say you _do_ like me?" Natsu searched his face again and seemed confused by whatever he found there. "That wasn't part of the prank?"

Gray shook his head, wracking his brain for a way to prove his words.

"Alright, you have one chance to come clean, if I even sense you're lying to me, we're over before we start," Natsu warned, his heated glare not filling Gray with much hope. "What do the flowers really mean?"

"Fine," Gray accepted the challenge, knowing the only way out of this was to take his lumps. He avoided looking at Erza as he ticked each meaning off on his fingers. "Stupidity, disappointment, uselessness, hatred, and insincerity."

Gray got the punch he was expecting, although he was a little surprised at the force behind it. Still, he took it without comment, knowing full well he deserved it, but it was what Natsu did next that surprised him.

Natsu roared with laughter, holding on to his sides as he doubled over. "You can say all that with flowers?!"

"You're not mad?" Gray sputtered in disbelief.

"I mean yeah, a little, but I have to admit that's pretty amazing and," he declared sheepishly, his carefree demeanor allowing Gray to relax a little. "I would have been so tempted, too."

He grabbed Gray's hand and dragged him out of the guild.

"Hey, wait! Where are you taking me?"

"I want you to take me to that flower shop, I need to get a bouquet made for Gajeel," Natsu grinned even as his eyes twinkled with mischief.

"We'll talk on the way, I think we've caused enough of a scene for one day, don't you?"

Gray could certainly agree with that sentiment, and full of curiosity as to what their talk would bring, he let Natsu pull him along.

Off they went, leaving the sounds of the guild behind as they strolled through town with their hands still laced together. Gray had no idea how it had all worked out, but his fuck you bouquet had somehow ended up getting him the one thing he'd wanted but had been too afraid to admit to.

From that day on, it became an inside joke between them to order the filthiest bouquets they could come up with for the other. Gray always made a point of including pink geraniums in the ones he ordered for Natsu.

An homage to the pink hair he adored and to his own stupidity, which had finally worked in his favor.

A/N: This marks my 100th Fairy Tail fanfic, which is something I am quite proud of. When I first started writing fanfic I never thought I'd get to 10 stories let alone 100. I hope you enjoy this story, I really wanted the 100th one to be a Gray x Natsu since they are my OTP and my first love.

I post all my work on AO3 so if 100 seems larger than what your platform says you can find the rest on my profile there. I also have some Given fics on there if you like that manga/anime.

I want to thank everyone who has read my stories and enjoyed them and even more to the ones who actually let me know in some way! I really appreciate your support, it blows me away. Also thank you to all the friends I have made on this journey, I hope we're all around a while longer!


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